So far...

I lost all sense of time
All desire to relate to my past.  Any desire
to dwell on prior conversations.  Sick of lies that
demolish all future thoughts of happiness and
pleasure and...reality.
I'm torn by misdirection.
My writing wears your name.  And I want to erase it all but the pen that I scribe with won't allow
me to forget the days idly spent daydreaming
wanting, just longing for one more touch, for one
more hug, for one more smile, for one more "I Love You",
In my mind I see you..and the art mutually appreciated,
I longed for one more laugh
just one more...not guaranteed, no longer
feasible. makes me fight the , ...the urge
to hate..to write hate, to write pain
to write ugly poetry bcause it doesn't sound pretty
Drowning in this fucking
quicksand of disappointment, the river of
denial...it can't be.  Therefore, I will be
what you want me to be.  It makes no sense.
Only to me.  Maybe I am crazy. Maybe
my system of coping is childish.  so be it.
Let me get through it.
No need for dates, no need for times, moods,
it's all REDUNDANT.
"You have come so far-you've got so far to go"