Daddy problems

I can call him Daddy because he is the only man who made me want to give my all and only look back to see him smiling in pride.  I wanted to make Daddy proud, make him feel accomplished and brag on his girl..I wanted Daddy to take me in his arms and hold me tight, tell me his love is all I need...and tell me how ugly the world is but how beautiful I can make it.  He protected me...he shielded me...he disappointed me...taught me that I needed to grow up and that I no longer was a little girl. 

Daddy told me I was a big girl now and I had to start acting like it. He gave me the wings. but never really taught me how to use them. He had a pair of his own but he was no angel.  Daddy contradicted himself a lot. He told me one thing but did another. I told him that I needed him...and he understood. I told him I can't do this alone, and he listened ....I told him that I could never love again,the way I loved him...if he left. Daddy knew what was best for the both of us...He knows it all. and dammit he can do no wrong.
Daddy should never be replaceable. Oh...but I have called someone else by his name.

Reminiscing...

"Touch me just for a little while" is what he whispered in my ear simultaneously sliding his pants lower as if he knew he didn't have to ask.  He knew I wouldn't say No.  I could never deny him a thing, could never resist his touch, his kiss, his wants, ..while I remain his desire...my only desire remains pleasing him.  I want nothing more than to succumb to his demands, each and every syllable that reverberates off his tongue I'll devour, as if I knew only what he told me and nothing more.
Uncompromising thoughts engulf the plank I walk on..for I dare not look down but look up to see his face above me, his body hovering over me...I surrender...cuz there is no place I'd rather be than underneath.
I could lay here for eternity .
Please baby baby please..don't cease this.
Please don' take your love away.